Surviving Christmas after a family break up is not easy, but if you have children together, contact with your ex partner is inevitable.

The festive season can be a stressful time, so Caroline Frost, family law specialist at Salisbury-based Whitehead Vizard Solicitors, has written some ‘Top Tips’ that should help you get through to the New Year unscathed:

1. Put your children first. Reassure them that their parents still get on and try and avoid arguments with your ex-partner over the Christmas break.

2. Plan ahead. Arguments over arrangements for children over Christmas and New Year can ruin the holiday season. No-one wants to end up at Court on Christmas Eve. Reach a compromise and suggest that arrangements should be alternated next year.

3. Don’t force your children to eat two Christmas dinners (sprouts and all!) in order to satisfy both parents. Perhaps now is the time to try something different.

4. Communicate with your former partner over Christmas presents. This will avoid duplication and disappointment.

5. Agree a budget with your former partner and stick to it. This will avoid an unnecessary competition between parents.

6. Be creative with your gifts. There is no need to spend hundreds of pounds to give your children a good Christmas. What they will be craving this year is your time and attention. It is the best gift you can give your children this Christmas.

7. Give yourself a break. When it all gets too much, encourage the children to spend time with other family members. Grandparents will relish an opportunity to spoil them.

8. Listen to your children. It is important that they have an opportunity to express their wishes and feelings. However, don’t place them under pressure to choose between their mum and dad.

9. Go out. Don’t feel you need to spend all day cooped up in the company of your (or your ex-partner’s) relatives. Organise a day trip for the children so they can spend some quality time with you.

10. Enjoy yourself. Try to put aside your emotional turmoil and focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Christmas only happens once a year. Make this Christmas special for you and your children.

Get YOUR "Top tips for surviving Christmas with the ex" factsheet HERE

See our 2007 article on divorce and relationship breakdown, and its accompanying factsheet:

Get YOUR "Taking the mystery out of divorce and relationship breakdown" factsheet HERE

For further information about Whitehead Vizard's Family Law Department, please contact Caroline Frost, Whitehead Vizard Solicitors, Close Gate Chambers, 60 High Street, Salisbury, Wiltshire, SP1 2PQ. Tel: 01722 412141 or e-mail her at: cf@Whitehead-Vizard.co.uk.